Searching for Fred

KRAMER: Well my swimming pool problems are solved. I just found myself miles and miles of open lanes.

JERRY: What is that smell?

KRAMER: That's East River.

JERRY: You're swimming in the East River? The most heavily trafficked, overly contaminated waterway on the eastern seaboard?

KRAMER: Technically Norfok has more gross tonnage.

JERRY: How could you swim in that water?

KRAMER: I saw a couple of other guys out there.

JERRY: Swimming?

KRAMER: Floating, they weren't moving much, but they were out there.

Arriving at work the other day, a coworker approached me, gave my commuting bike the once over and said something like: "Look at this bike. You are so 'Fred!'" Having not heard this descriptive term, I asked for a definition. He provided his interpretation of "Fred" as a cycling term. I decided to dig deeper. What I discovered is that there are at least three competing definitions for "Fred" commonly used by cyclists.

1. A neophyte, inexperienced, or bumbling cyclist
2. A poser who buys expensive, state-of-the-art cycling gear, but is more interested in being seen that actually riding
3. A utilitarian cyclist who outfits their bike and themselves in a way that is at once practical, yet unstylish to serious racing cyclists

To his credit, my coworker said he believes that there's a little bit of Fred in each of us. Given the variety of definitions for "Fred," I'd say that's a safe conclusion. The category I identify with most would be #3 because at this stage in my cycling life, I'm all about commuting efficiency. This wasn't always the case.

Years ago I purchased a Vitus 979 aluminum bicycle frame. At the time it was pretty much state-of-the-art. I outfitted that frame with Campagnolo components, a lightweight drive chain, very light wheels, pretty damn narrow tires, and the first generation Profile aero bars. I was too cool for school. When I used this bike to commute from my apartment on the peninsula to Santa Clara, I liked to ride fast. A coworker at the time decided to buy a bike with the goal of making it even lighter than my Vitus. He gradually bought more and more lightweight components, a seat with titanium rails, tubular tires, you name it. Yet with each lighter component he put on his bike, his ride became even heavier when compared to the Vitus. Not sure how that could have been, but I swear it was true.

Fast-forward 25 years, bike technology has changed in big ways and my priorities have shifted, too. Instead of lightweight, competition, and speed, I'm more biased toward durability and reliability. Instead of weighing in at less than 19 pounds (8.6 kg), my commuter weighs in around 34 pounds (15.4 kg). By the time I've loaded on the panniers, the whole production tips the scales around 45 pounds (20.4 kg). Okay, I admit I still get the urge to chase down younger riders on fixies and give them a run for their money.

The biggest improvement in the past two decades would have to be lighting systems. I had one of the original NightSun headlights and it was pretty awesome back in the day. The LED lighting available now is significantly more advanced both in lumen output and battery life. I wear a helmet, as I did in the old days. And brightly colored clothing, much to the amusement of the hip, ninja cyclists I encounter each day and night that I ride. So did I used to be cool and now I'm a Fred, or is it the other way around? Beats me ...

Near as I can tell, the main reason to use a term like "Fred" (or "Doris" for female riders) would seem to be to differentiate one group of cyclists as being better than or above the rest. The way I look at it, no matter how fashionable, unfashionable, or individualistic you may or may not be, the important thing is that you are on your bike and you are out there.

Milestones and Changes

Somewhere on Adeline Street, between San Pablo Avenue and 12th Street, it happened. I completed my 6000th mile of cycling for 2013. My goal was to see how much commuting I could accomplish with my bike as opposed to using a car and to reduce my CO2e contribution to the Earth's atmosphere. Based on previous research,  I calculate my cycling contributed 445 pounds (202 kg) of carbon dioxide. Driving those 6000 miles in a car would have not only been less fun, it would have contributed 5,714 pounds (2592 kg) of carbon dioxide. Keeping 5270 pounds (2390 kg) of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere is, well, ... a start.

I didn't have any students at KOAK today, but needed to go there anyway to pick up some cycling gear I'd left behind when I flatted the other night. A beautiful day, blue skies as far as the eye could see, calm winds, warm temps, and the San Francisco Bay waters were mostly still.  On my way home today, I decided to take the long way and ride the eastern span of the Bay Bridge. This was my sixth trip across the bridge and even though it was Christmas Eve day, there were fewer pedestrians and cyclists than expected.

Construction on the new bike/ped path approach seems to be progressing

Mist on the water

It had been over a month since I last rode the bridge and this time I saw obvious signs of the slow, methodical demolition of the old cantilever span. If you haven't made time to ride or walk the east span and you want to see the old bridge, you still have time.

Upper deck being methodically removed, bracing added ...

A section close to the new span, debris shield installed ....

Once the old cantilever section has been removed, completion of the ped/bike path to meet Treasure Island will begin. That's currently slated to be completed sometime in 2015.

All these changes and milestones got me to thinking about next year. What should my CO2e goals be for 2014? I haven't finalized them yet, but one goal is to sell one of our cars. I'm biking so much that eliminating one car wouldn't be a hardship. Quite the opposite, it would save us money on insurance, license/registration, fuel and maintenance. Another goal would be to log more miles and while that is possible it will require thoughtful discipline: Less chasing down and dropping youngsters on fixies, a slower and more efficient riding speed, continued emphasis on riding safely, staying injury free, and avoiding illness. Perhaps 7000 miles of cycling for 2014 is achievable, but the main goal is to continue to keep my CO2e down and set an example for others: You can drive less, get more exercise more (walk or bike), be healthier and happier, and generate less CO2e to boot. Think about it ...

Collective Nouns

During a quiet moment with our two basenji, I found myself considering one of the more fascinating parts of the English language: The tradition of "terms of venery" (sometimes called "nouns of assembly"). Collective nouns for specific animals were developed by hunters. They originated in France and migrated to England, where their use flourished in the Late Middle Ages. The Book of St. Albans contains over 150 collective nouns for describing groups of animals. Some common examples: a pride of lions, a gaggle of geese. More evocative examples include a murder of crowns, a boil of hawks, a skein of geese. Which got me to thinking about what one might call a collection of basenji.

"Pack" seems good for large dogs, especially German sheppards, Irish wolfhounds and the like. But Pack doesn't seem to fit basenji. Maybe it's because of their size or maybe it's because they don't really seem to be dogs at all. Instead of Canis lupus familiaris some say Canis basenji is more apropos. Many popular ideas about the basenji's unique features are true, but some are not so accurate. You may have heard that basenji don't bark, but the breed standard more accurately describes "seldom barking." Our male will often let out a single bark and he becomes very vocal when he's happy or excited, yodeling and howling. On the other hand, our female is generally quiet except when she's angry at which point she will readily make all sorts of growling, hideous, awful sounds. Why basenji do not exhibit common barking behavior is a bit of a mystery and a subject of much speculation.

Another mystery is that most female basenji go into estrus only once a year, usually in the late summer or autumn. Many theories have been offered as to why this is. Some say it is an adaptation to seasonal weather patterns in central Africa (where the breed originated) that aren't conducive to the survival of young offspring. Whatever the reason, basenji tend to have birthdays in October, November or December.

The 1950's B movie, Goodbye My Lady, was partly responsible for popularizing, and in some case exaggerating, basenji traits. Basenji do indeed groom themselves, but not quite as much as cats do. Like cats, they generally don't like water or getting wet, but there are exceptions: Our female will gladly enter the chilly waters of San Francisco Bay in motivated pursuit of another dog or a flock of birds. In contrast, our male will hop over water puddles to avoid getting his paws damp. And he will give incredulous looks when the front door is opened for a morning walk and rain is falling. 

When basenji get together with other basenji, it's clear they have a strong recognition of their own breed. And you can expect fireworks as they establish the pack dynamic. A wise basenji owner once told me when basenji are "working things out" that all is well as long a they are making a lot of noise. If the vocalizations stop and the tussling continues, it means the posturing has ended and they have gotten serious.

One of the most ancient breeds, basenji were unknown to westerners until the 1800s. The first Basenji to come to the US reportedly did so in the early 1900s as a stowaway on a ship carrying coffee. The breed wasn't formally introduced until the 1930s. At early dog shows where basenji were first shown, it was said that someone was bound to be bitten: A handler, a judge, or another dog. Much has been done to calm their primitive temperament, but this leads to one of the more problematic aspects to basenji ownership: Off leash, most basenji have a strong prey instinct and little or no traffic smarts. If they see a cat or squirrel, they will chase it down, they'll likely never hear your voice calling, and never see the car that hits them. Basenji are often referred to as sight hounds, but that seems controversial since they have both keen sight and sense of smell. Owning a basenji requires good situational awareness and respect.

Various studies have attempted to measure dog intelligence, often boiling down to how obedient a dog breed tends to be. Basenji can obey, but they seem to do so when they choose to. Basenji are self-directed and they seem to see humans as their peers. That's not exactly right, but it's the closest I can come to describing the relationship. You cannot force a basenji to do anything and if you try, you're in for trouble. Instead, you find ways to get them to cooperate. Does this make basenji less or more intelligent than other dogs? Hard to say, but it helps to have a good sense of humor because a basenji will outwit you at least once a day.

You'll often see basenji in pairs for the simple reason that it's easier to have two rather than one. Mostly. Like humans, dogs need companionship. Without a partner, basenji get bored and a bored basenji is dangerous: When frustrated, their problem-solving abilities (read destroy and escape) is legendary. Which brings us back to collective nouns. What to call a group of two or more basenji? What collective noun captures the complexity of this unique breed?

I'd have to say "tangle." A Tangle of Basenji.

Jowl Candy and TTCBCOAB #31

The late Douglas Adams lamented there are "things that there should be words for, but aren't," which led him to write The Meaning of Liff, a sort of dictionary of new words like:

ABILENE (adj.)
Descriptive of the pleasing coolness on the reverse side of the pillow.

And there is the follow-on book, The Deeper Meaning of Liff. So it was that, while having a quiet, interspecies moment with my basenji Rio, I decided there needed to be, if not a completely new word, at least a descriptive phrase for the soft folds of skin beneath his jaw. Not jowl. Something more evocative. Why jowl candy, of course! Perhaps someone will eventually come up with a new word, an onomatopoeic concoction, but for now jowl candy will do.

After a pleasant ride to Costco and back, here's are some more things that can be carried on a bicycle (TTCBCOAB): Jug of laundry detergent, bag of microfiber towels, two cases of Cliff bars, a package of sunscreen, a package of shaving razors, and a bundle of paper towels.